Today is one of those days that begins the night before, when you get home from the first date night (date hour, actually) that you’ve had in months and your six month old vomits all over the first actual clothes you’ve worn all week.
Today is one of those days your ear still won’t pop and you can’t take decongestant because it will dry up the breast milk said six month old vomited all over you again at 4:30 AM (in your bed) while your feverish two year old cried in the bathroom with her dad (who may have also wanted to cry, if I had to take a guess.)
Today is one of those days your 2 year old eats a pickle for breakfast.
Today is one of those days both your children cry while you take a shower at 1 PM to finally rinse off the 4:30 AM vomit. But you don’t get to shower much because your 2 year old comes in, crying, to report her sister is, in fact, crying.
Today is one of those days you have one baby in the baby sling and the other in your lap when really, you want to drop them off at the fire station on your way to go beg your own mom to hold you and feed you. Which won’t happen because the thought of anyone, including your mom, seeing you in this state is too much to bear; and anyway, your kids won’t stop crying long enough to get them ready to go anywhere.
Today is one of those days you cry along with your kids while texting your husband at work that you can’t do this, you can’t be mom today. While you do this they cry that they want daddy and you sob, “Me, too.”
Today is one of those days you wish your kids would just watch more TV, so maybe you could wash vomit and phlegm out of every item of clothing (and sheets) in the house. This proves impossible as you continue your job as Human Hankie.
Today is one of those days you don’t want to admit to, ever, to your family, your friends, your spouse-yourself. It’s too messy, angry, tired, snappy, crabby. You signed up for matching Easter dresses and playing at the playground and re-watching Disney movies. Not piles of dirty laundry, backed up paperwork from work, and Puffs all over the floor.
Today is just one. of. those. days.