It feels like yesterday, but it’s been awhile. Almost four months, actually, since I’ve posted.
I realized in starting this post that it is because this is simply my pace right now, of getting things done.
I’m in a spot where I’m not pushing myself, and I’m also not making excuses as much. Excuses, for me, are driven by guilt. Guilt of not meeting expectations, of things coming out “less than” and of not fulfilling a self-created obligation.
Where I left off, this past winter, at the end of the polar vortex, was a place where my kids were continually sick, it was continually snowing, and life felt like it had come to a stand still.
Then I realized-this just IS. I can’t help that my babies have a multitude of illnesses; that it’s negative a zillion degrees. Things are just moving in this way.
And then, of course, we fell into the “Frozen” machine and poof! There goes the last few months of my life.
With this increasing slowness in the pace of my life, the little people who currently occupy my time have become rounder characters, filling the spaces where I used to “get stuff done.”
I’ve worked a lot of things out over the last few months as well. I struggle with self-disclosure, as I have, in the past (I’ve been blogging on and off for twelve years!) self-edited poorly, and overexposed. While I’m hardly a person of note whose life will end up in the tabloids, there are still things that need to be carefully considered before they are talked about. I write what is on my mind, as opposed to a carefully curated set of topics, so when what’s on my mind isn’t postable…well, four months go by.
But I’ve been itching lately, to post, to re-enter this forum, to communicate with all of you who take the time to read my musings.
Geez, that sounds a little overly precious.
So anyway, when I’m not chasing my kids, (the younger one now crawls like Gollum in The Lord of the Rings Movies) I’ve got some stuff to say!