True Life: I have Mommy Brain

When I first became a mom, I wasn’t on board with this whole “Mommy Brain” phenomenon. I thought it was simply another label invented by the patriarchy to demean women who chose motherhood as a path.

Then, I had my second child and started waking up not only to feed a newborn but at the ungodly early morning hour my toddler gets up.

My brain literally fell out of my head. And pieces of it continue to fall out of my ears daily.

Mommy brain is a pretty patriarchal term for a condition that affects all sorts of people: continuous sleep deprivation. See, with my first child, I split nighttime duties with my husband. We were both working full-time, and that was the fairest way to make sure neither of us missed too much sleep.

Also, my first child was a sleeper. Kid slept. Kid STILL sleeps. No sleep training, nothing. She likes herself some sleep.

This second one? Not so much. And since I have been mostly home, and she refuses a bottle, I literally haven’t slept more than four hours at a stretch in eleven months.

And those four hours are generous when they happen.

Which leads me to a day like to today.

Preface: Last night my baby went to bed at 11 (uggghhh) my toddler woke up to pee at 1:30, the baby are at 3ish, the toddler woke up again at 6:15, went back to sleep, and we all got up at 7:30.

After successfully managing my two at the mall while we waited for an oil change, I pick up the car, load the kids in, load the stroller, and start driving home. I glance around for my phone-I can’t see it. It’s probably still in the stroller. I drive on.

Suddenly, the car behind me starts honking and gesturing. I look back and a kindly older man is pointing at my bumper. I loop around and pull over, almost causing an eight car accident. I roll down my window.

“Your phone is on your bumper!” He says.

Sure enough, there was my phone, trapped in my hatchback, sitting on my bumper. Miraculously, it was wedged in such a way it wasn’t broken but it also couldn’t fall out.

Thank goodness for the kindness of strangers.

Just another day with mommy brain.

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